The last month or so I have found myself becoming somewhat complacent in my relationship with God. I have allowed myself to get distracted by events taking place in my life and have not dedicated the time that I should to spending time with God in prayer and study of the Bible. And it has been through this time that I have noticed that I don't have the same sense of fullfillment, peace, joy and general happiness that I have had during those times where I have been better focused on my relationship with Him.
The reason why I bring this up is because I have had discussions with people who dismiss my own personal experiences with God as valid proof of His existence. While I understand why they may be hesitant to take my word for it, the fact of the matter is that my claims are true. When I am putting forth my best effort in pursuing and developing my relationship with God, it is during those times that I am most fullfilled. This past month or so has proven this that much further to me. It's not something I'm faking. It's just fact. I know that when others hear this they often become skeptical because they feel that I am doing this in my own mind. They think things like because I am so used to pursuing my relationship with God, that when I am not doing it in a way that I feel is putting forth my best effort, I don't feel "myself" and therefore I don't feel fullfilled, joyful, happy, etc.. I don't buy this argument for one second; with the reason being that if this were true - if people could simply "fool" themselves into happiness and fulfillment - then the universal truth that "money does not buy happiness" would not be exactly that - universal truth. If God were not real, then the joy and fullfillment that Christians who pursue Him feel would all be in their heads. And if this is true, then that means that we are able to make ourselves happy and fullfilled through anything that we truly believe will make us happy - as long as we believe strongly enough in it. Well, a very large percentage of people in our world today believe very strongly that money can make them happy, but human history has proven otherwise. We cannot make ourselves happy by simply believing strongly enough in something. In order to experience true happiness, joy and fullfillment, that "something" has to be real. Jesus is real, and that is why when I pursue Him, love Him, and grow in my relationship with Him, I do feel fullfilled, joyful and happy; and when I am not pursuing Him like I should, I do not feel as much so. It's not something I'm imagining, it's truth. I'd love for all people to be able to experience this for themselves, but sadly most choose not to. In the words of C.S. Lewis, "We are far too easily pleased".
Monday, 30 April 2012
I Don't Want to Be "Religious"
The following are notes that I took in church this past Sunday while listening to a great message by Rick Buck, the Pastor at Emmanuel Church in Barrie, Ontario.
Religion is never a good substitute for love of God and others.
Love God passionately and others selflessly If God truly has our heart then we will do this. We should never be focused on being religious, but rather on simply loving God and loving others as He loves us, for when we do this, we are living as Christ calls us to. We will be in the position to live for Him and be used by Him as He sees fit.
It is about relationship not religion. The acts that we do for God needs to be from love and devotion to Him not out of "religious duty" for that is foolish and meaningless.
I don't want to be seen as a religious person. I want to be seen, and to be a person who is in absolute love with God and who's actions are always a reflection of that love. The Bible is not about mechanics, it is about an amazing relationship with God. And this makes sense because if you look at any relationship, it is always about the meaningful experiences you have with that other person. If relationships were about "mechanics" or "rituals" which had to be performed, then the relationship would not be meaningful.
And a true relationship with God must be about what we can do for Him, not about what He can do for us. And the cool thing about this is that when we pursue God in this way it is only then that we can truly benefit from the relationship with Him. But when our focus is on us and what we can gain then we will not fully benefit from the relationship as we could/should.
One of the biggest strategies of satan is to attempt to get us complacent in our relationship with God. It is an attempt to get our relationship to be surface level and about acts of "religious duty". He wants us to feel like being a Christian is about following very specific ritualistic guidelines (i.e. read your Bible for 30 minutes every night - any less and you aren't a Christian). The reason why he wants us to think this way is because such guidelines are meaningless, annoying and leave us feeling empty rather than excited. God wants us to be excited about the relationship we have with Him, and it is a very exciting thing when understood and pursued the appropriate way - and that way is to develop a meaningful relationship with Him which is based on love for Him, and love for others.
Religion is never a good substitute for love of God and others.
Love God passionately and others selflessly If God truly has our heart then we will do this. We should never be focused on being religious, but rather on simply loving God and loving others as He loves us, for when we do this, we are living as Christ calls us to. We will be in the position to live for Him and be used by Him as He sees fit.
It is about relationship not religion. The acts that we do for God needs to be from love and devotion to Him not out of "religious duty" for that is foolish and meaningless.
I don't want to be seen as a religious person. I want to be seen, and to be a person who is in absolute love with God and who's actions are always a reflection of that love. The Bible is not about mechanics, it is about an amazing relationship with God. And this makes sense because if you look at any relationship, it is always about the meaningful experiences you have with that other person. If relationships were about "mechanics" or "rituals" which had to be performed, then the relationship would not be meaningful.
And a true relationship with God must be about what we can do for Him, not about what He can do for us. And the cool thing about this is that when we pursue God in this way it is only then that we can truly benefit from the relationship with Him. But when our focus is on us and what we can gain then we will not fully benefit from the relationship as we could/should.
One of the biggest strategies of satan is to attempt to get us complacent in our relationship with God. It is an attempt to get our relationship to be surface level and about acts of "religious duty". He wants us to feel like being a Christian is about following very specific ritualistic guidelines (i.e. read your Bible for 30 minutes every night - any less and you aren't a Christian). The reason why he wants us to think this way is because such guidelines are meaningless, annoying and leave us feeling empty rather than excited. God wants us to be excited about the relationship we have with Him, and it is a very exciting thing when understood and pursued the appropriate way - and that way is to develop a meaningful relationship with Him which is based on love for Him, and love for others.
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Response to Alex's Blog
The following is a response to my friend Alex's blog....
Thanks man for giving me the chance to read the blog. You say you are a poor writer, you’re definitely not, you write very well.
Here are my thoughts. I put them quite bluntly, not out of disrespect, but because based on how you write your blog, I believe this is what you prefer and appreciate.
You say that you don’t know whether or not God exists, but it seems like you’re writing is simply a way to try and take Christian arguments and look for the way that you can disprove them. I believe that any topic can always be argued against in some way, shape or form. I respect the fact that you admit that you don’t have all the answers (neither do I; none of us do), but it seems like you spend your time arguing against the existence of God. Therefore, it seems like you are saying that you don’t know if God exists, but at the same time trying to prove that He doesn’t. I feel like you may be sitting on the fence here, when you have to choose one side or the other. Either God exists and you accept Him, or you choose to believe that He doesn’t, and like you’ve described in your blog, if you are wrong, you will absolutely spend eternity in hell, because this is what God, Whom you chose not to believe in, said would happen. (Again, I know this is blunt. I don’t mean for it to sound disrespectful or obnoxious, but based on what you wrote in your blog, I believe that you agree that these statements are true if God does in fact exist). Now, I believe in God for many different reasons. I have chosen to be on the God side of the fence. I gotta tell you honestly, if I were to look at this circumstance from a probability standpoint, like it seems you do, I see myself as being in a no lose situation. And I see anyone who chooses not to believe in God as being in a situation where they could end up losing. What I mean by this is as follows: If God does not exist, then when I die nothing happens, and I do not end up in hell. From a worldly standpoint, this is a win (I say worldly because I believe this to be the thought of most non-believers, for I can’t see them sitting back and accepting that they were going to hell). But if God does exist, then I get to spend eternity with Him in Heaven because I chose to live my life for Him. I don’t think anyone would argue that eternity in Heaven as it is described in the Bible is anything but the greatest “win” imaginable. Now the non-Christian on the other hand, the only “win” they could possibly obtain is if God does not exist; but if God does exist, then they spend eternity in hell because this is what God said would happen. Eternal damnation is a big-time lose! The reason why I bring this up is because you have admitted that you don’t know, but are going off of what you consider as most probable. I have to say that I think you are putting yourself in a very dangerous place. As a Christian I am in a position whereby if I’m wrong I don’t end up damned for eternity in hell, but if you are wrong then that is exactly what ends up occurring. Based off of your argument of probability, I feel that as a Christian, I am in a circumstance where the probability is in my favour, with the reason being that I can’t lose. (Please don’t think that the reason why I personally am a Christian is to “play it safe”, although I am thankful for the reality of this argument). I also know you spoke about the fact that if you end up at the pearly gates and have to answer to God, you will tell Him that you used the brain that He gave you to come to a conclusion based on probability. I can’t say exactly what He’ll say back in that moment, but I know what Jesus said when He was here on Earth, and that was, “You believe because you have seen me, but blessed are those who have not seen me and still believe” (John 20:29). And in general, Jesus’ entire message was one of repentance and salvation. The Bible makes it very clear that God gives us the choice while we are here on earth, and only then. We have to make that choice now. He’s given us everything He feels fit to give us, and yes, we have the choice to question it, but in the end we have to answer to Him for whatever decision we make.
Like I mentioned before, you will always be able to argue against any point of view or argument. One can always find a way to try and structure the argument in one direction or another. For this reason, will non-Christians who say they need absolute proof ever be able to find it? Will they ever be fully satisfied? No they will not, because an argument can always be posed, and they often want facts which are indisputable. Christians look at the evidence we do have and see it as enough to go off of, but unfortunately for non-Christians, they always want more. They are never satisfied until there is nothing that can be argued. The fact is that we will never have all the answers. I encourage all people, Christians and non-Christians alike, to ask themselves: “Is it not possible that some truth simply cannot be proven from a worldly standpoint? Is it not possible that to accept the truth means accepting that God chose for us not to have all of the answers, but left us enough to be able to follow Him, which is what He wanted?” He hasn’t given us all the answers, and honestly I don’t know why; but with what He has given us I choose to believe in Him, and love Him, and know that He loves me. I believe that He has given us more than enough to go off of, and I don’t want to forgo living my life for Him and securing a spot for myself in Heaven just because I was not satisfied with the fact that I was not given all the answers.
The fact is that yes, there are a lot of arguments out there that sound very convincing in proving that God does not exist, and because of these, many people choose not to seek after God for themselves. Like I’ve said, I don’t have all the answers. I honestly can’t explain why each and every argument, which is out there going against the existence of God, is false. I’m not smart enough to do that. But what I am smart enough to do is to know that I have personally sought after God and now have a personal relationship with Him, and because of that, I know that what anybody else says about why He does not exist simply cannot be true. It cannot be true based off of my personal experiences. I recognize that the following is not the best analogy, but it is something like if someone was to say to me that my parents don’t love me. They could create some very convincing arguments. They could bring up all the mistakes that my parents ever made, and tie all those life events together as proof to show that my parents simply don’t love me. They could even take all the good things they’ve done, and contrast them to their mistakes to find a convincing way to show that their mistakes are actually a clearer picture of how my parents feel about me than are the things they did a good job at. Well, I know based off of the experiences of my life that my parents do in fact love me. While all those arguments that were posed may in fact be true, or at least appear to be true, I cannot deny the fact that my parents love me, and I will not allow myself to buy into the idea that they don’t. It is the same with God. I can’t explain why every argument against Him is false. They very well may seem to be true, but based off of my personal life experiences, I cannot deny His existence.
The truth of the matter is that as I write this, I know that I myself can’t change your mind. I believe God can, but He’s the only One. You’ve spent a lot of time looking for proof of God. I respect this, I really do. You’ve done more than many other non-believers have. But I have to be honest with you; I believe strongly that you’ve spent your time searching for the wrong thing. If you really want to know the truth, which I believe you do, I would recommend you actually seek after God Himself. The Bible says, “You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all of your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Rather than seeking after proof that the world tries to come up with, why wouldn’t you simply seek after God, Whom you are trying to discover about? Pursue Him through prayer and reading of the Bible, and through commentaries and meaningful conversations with those who do believe. In general, seek after Him. You’ve spent a lot of time seeking after what the world says about God, but I encourage you, that if you really want to find the true answers, you at least owe it to yourself to seek after Him, and to do it on a personal level.
I enjoy our conversations man, and I look forward to many more! Heck, we should do it over a beer sometime. I’m not one of those Christians against alcohol…just don’t expect me to get drunk, because in case you haven’t realized, I have a moral standard I’m trying to stick to….lol.
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Non-Christians Have a Hard Time Understanding Christians
I often think about how non-Christians view Christians and the church in general. What do they think when a Christian says, "I have Jesus in my heart", or, "I am completely surrendered to Christ", "I am in love with Jesus", "I would die for Jesus", and other sayings of similar nature?
Each of these sayings above, I personally claim, and I do so proudly and unashamedly; but at the same time I definitely understand why a non-Christian might get "wierded out" by such statements.
I was thinking about this last night while driving in the car on my way to hockey, and I came to the realization that many non-Christians find these things odd due to the fact that they don't fully understand what it means to have a relationship with God. They don't understand the excitement, the joy, the fullfillment of it. The reasons why I can boldly make statements like those listed above is because I am experiencing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and the love and joy that comes with such a relationship leads to me saying these things about Him does not come out of obligation, but because it is how I actually feel. Having a true, meaningful relationship with God leads to such joy, and so while it is hard for non-Christians to understand, Christians definitely understand, and are excited about all that they are experiencing.
Each of these sayings above, I personally claim, and I do so proudly and unashamedly; but at the same time I definitely understand why a non-Christian might get "wierded out" by such statements.
I was thinking about this last night while driving in the car on my way to hockey, and I came to the realization that many non-Christians find these things odd due to the fact that they don't fully understand what it means to have a relationship with God. They don't understand the excitement, the joy, the fullfillment of it. The reasons why I can boldly make statements like those listed above is because I am experiencing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and the love and joy that comes with such a relationship leads to me saying these things about Him does not come out of obligation, but because it is how I actually feel. Having a true, meaningful relationship with God leads to such joy, and so while it is hard for non-Christians to understand, Christians definitely understand, and are excited about all that they are experiencing.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
I've Never Accomplished Anything Significant on My Own.
I was just thinking about how I can't think of any time where I have ever set out to accomplish something, and done so based off of sheer will. You hear all these great stories about how successful people go out and accomplish what they set their mind to because they never gave up until they reached their goal. Even though I consider myself a pretty driven person (with certain things), I don't have any stories like that. I can honestly say that anything I've ever accomplished has happened when I least expected it, not because I decided that I was going to go out and get it done.
With this said, there have been many things that I have gone out and tried to accomplish, and some of them I have actually accomplished, but the interesting thing is that my statements above still hold true. Even though I accomplished them, they happened when I least expected it. They happened in God's timing, not my own. Where I have most often found this to be true in my life is in sports. One example was with a particular goal that I set out to accomplish in my Freshman year of college golf. I wanted so badly to accomplish this goal, but I figured that in order for it to happen I was going to have to work my tail off and will myself to do it. The crazy thing was that I did end up accomplishing it in my Junior year, but I did so when I was actually playing some of the worst golf that I had played in my entire college career. I all of a sudden had a really good day on the course which led to me accomplishing the goal. I don't know how else to explain it, but to say that it was a blessing from God.
Now when I say these things, I am not saying that God "fixes" results - in sports or in any other areas of life. Truth be told, maybe He does, He's God and He can do whatever He wants. If I had to bet on it though, I would bet that He doesn't do this. I do believe however that He blesses, and that He blesses efforts when we do our part and work our hardest.
What I am saying now may seem hypocritical. It may sound like I am saying that I have never been able to will myself to accomplish something, but then just said that God doesn't fix results and that you have to do your part and work your hardest to get things done. Truth be told, I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words, but what I am actually trying to say is the following: I have learned that I need to always work my hardest at everything I ever pursue as if the results depend solely on me, but I must recognize in doing so that they do not depend on me, they depend on God. Therefore, I need to work my hardest at all things, and then surrender all results to God. I believe that this is why I feel like I have never been able to will myself to accomplish things. My efforts have definitely played a part in the accomplishments, but I have put the efforts in, and then had to wait on God and His timing for whether or not the goals are accomplished. And truthfully many times they haven't been, but that's okay because I believe that God knows what's best for me, and I only want to accomplish that which He wants me to.
I have sometimes thought about this and thought, "I wish I could will myself to accomplish things. I wish I could be one of those people who wills themself to success". I now think differently. I love the fact that it is God who decides what I accomplish. He is in control of all things, and is good enough to allow me to pursue my goals and dreams, as long as my attitude in doing so is pleasing to Him. I am thankful for the fact that I can honestly say that anything I've ever accomplished has been directly related to His timing and His blessings, that it has been Him who has been in control of the results of all my efforts in life. I'm glad that I'm not willing myself to accomplish things that I think are best for me when they really aren't. I'm glad that the One who knows what's best for me, and has my absolute best interests at heart, is the One in control of the things that I accomplish in life. I find this exciting because it means that the God of the universe, the ultimate "Celebrity" takes an interest in me and my life. He cares about me, wants what's best for me, and is leading me along the path that He wants. I think that's pretty cool.
With this said, there have been many things that I have gone out and tried to accomplish, and some of them I have actually accomplished, but the interesting thing is that my statements above still hold true. Even though I accomplished them, they happened when I least expected it. They happened in God's timing, not my own. Where I have most often found this to be true in my life is in sports. One example was with a particular goal that I set out to accomplish in my Freshman year of college golf. I wanted so badly to accomplish this goal, but I figured that in order for it to happen I was going to have to work my tail off and will myself to do it. The crazy thing was that I did end up accomplishing it in my Junior year, but I did so when I was actually playing some of the worst golf that I had played in my entire college career. I all of a sudden had a really good day on the course which led to me accomplishing the goal. I don't know how else to explain it, but to say that it was a blessing from God.
Now when I say these things, I am not saying that God "fixes" results - in sports or in any other areas of life. Truth be told, maybe He does, He's God and He can do whatever He wants. If I had to bet on it though, I would bet that He doesn't do this. I do believe however that He blesses, and that He blesses efforts when we do our part and work our hardest.
What I am saying now may seem hypocritical. It may sound like I am saying that I have never been able to will myself to accomplish something, but then just said that God doesn't fix results and that you have to do your part and work your hardest to get things done. Truth be told, I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words, but what I am actually trying to say is the following: I have learned that I need to always work my hardest at everything I ever pursue as if the results depend solely on me, but I must recognize in doing so that they do not depend on me, they depend on God. Therefore, I need to work my hardest at all things, and then surrender all results to God. I believe that this is why I feel like I have never been able to will myself to accomplish things. My efforts have definitely played a part in the accomplishments, but I have put the efforts in, and then had to wait on God and His timing for whether or not the goals are accomplished. And truthfully many times they haven't been, but that's okay because I believe that God knows what's best for me, and I only want to accomplish that which He wants me to.
I have sometimes thought about this and thought, "I wish I could will myself to accomplish things. I wish I could be one of those people who wills themself to success". I now think differently. I love the fact that it is God who decides what I accomplish. He is in control of all things, and is good enough to allow me to pursue my goals and dreams, as long as my attitude in doing so is pleasing to Him. I am thankful for the fact that I can honestly say that anything I've ever accomplished has been directly related to His timing and His blessings, that it has been Him who has been in control of the results of all my efforts in life. I'm glad that I'm not willing myself to accomplish things that I think are best for me when they really aren't. I'm glad that the One who knows what's best for me, and has my absolute best interests at heart, is the One in control of the things that I accomplish in life. I find this exciting because it means that the God of the universe, the ultimate "Celebrity" takes an interest in me and my life. He cares about me, wants what's best for me, and is leading me along the path that He wants. I think that's pretty cool.
Friday, 2 March 2012
Pride vs. Humility
"God opposes the proud but favors the humble."
(James 4:6)
Too often I have read this verse, and recognized that it teaches me the importance of being humble, but I have failed to really recognize what it is saying despite the fact that it states it very clearly. Not only is it telling me that God wants me to be humble, but He is opposed to me when I strive to draw attention to myself rather than to others, and to Him. This is a very serious fact. When the Creator of all things, and the One in control of all things, says that He is opposed to me when I am prideful, that is downright frightening. This goes to show just how serious He is about the subject.
Honestly, pride is something I've struggled with. I have no problem being the center of attention, and I tend to enjoy it. I'm not happy to say that, but I also can't deny it. The thing that makes me even more stupid is the fact that I have always felt better about myself whenever I have strived to be humble. Jesus said, "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted". So not only have I been stupid because I have been prideful, but the attention that I seek actually comes when I don't pursue it. I am not saying this to say, "Just don't be prideful, and then you get the attention that you desire", because this also is not the proper attitude. If we are truly being humble, Jesus is clear that we will end up being exalted, but true humility does not desire the attention in the first place. True humility strives to draw attention to God and to others.
The other side of the coin is that no one likes one who is prideful. I believe that this could be one of the reasons why Jesus said what He did about the humble being exalted. Nobody wants to exalt someone who exalts themselves. They don't want to "feed" their ego any more. Quite frankly, prideful people are annoying, and nobody wants to be around them when they act those ways. It makes everyone annoyed and uncomfortable. Why would I ever want to behave in these ways? It's foolish and stupid. What I want is for people to see Jesus when they look at me. I want them to see all the amazing things that He's done in my life, and to see how He's been constantly working on me and changing me to make me more like Him. Pride is the exact opposite of what I want to display.
I also want to make sure that I am not falsely humble. I believe it is still pride when we attempt to appear humble before others, when all the while we are craving that attention. There is no fooling God, and He is the Judge, and I believe He is opposed in these situations too, for it is still pride.
In order to be humble, I need to actively work to draw attention to others, in positive lights, and away from myself. I need to make sure that I do more listening, rather than talking, and am focusing on the needs and desires of others rather than my own. I need to seek to serve others like Jesus did, not be served. I praise God for my wife Bryane, because next to Jesus, she is the best example I have ever seen of what it means to be humble. She never seeks attention for herself, and is always doing whatever she can to build others up, and to serve.
(James 4:6)
Too often I have read this verse, and recognized that it teaches me the importance of being humble, but I have failed to really recognize what it is saying despite the fact that it states it very clearly. Not only is it telling me that God wants me to be humble, but He is opposed to me when I strive to draw attention to myself rather than to others, and to Him. This is a very serious fact. When the Creator of all things, and the One in control of all things, says that He is opposed to me when I am prideful, that is downright frightening. This goes to show just how serious He is about the subject.
Honestly, pride is something I've struggled with. I have no problem being the center of attention, and I tend to enjoy it. I'm not happy to say that, but I also can't deny it. The thing that makes me even more stupid is the fact that I have always felt better about myself whenever I have strived to be humble. Jesus said, "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted". So not only have I been stupid because I have been prideful, but the attention that I seek actually comes when I don't pursue it. I am not saying this to say, "Just don't be prideful, and then you get the attention that you desire", because this also is not the proper attitude. If we are truly being humble, Jesus is clear that we will end up being exalted, but true humility does not desire the attention in the first place. True humility strives to draw attention to God and to others.
The other side of the coin is that no one likes one who is prideful. I believe that this could be one of the reasons why Jesus said what He did about the humble being exalted. Nobody wants to exalt someone who exalts themselves. They don't want to "feed" their ego any more. Quite frankly, prideful people are annoying, and nobody wants to be around them when they act those ways. It makes everyone annoyed and uncomfortable. Why would I ever want to behave in these ways? It's foolish and stupid. What I want is for people to see Jesus when they look at me. I want them to see all the amazing things that He's done in my life, and to see how He's been constantly working on me and changing me to make me more like Him. Pride is the exact opposite of what I want to display.
I also want to make sure that I am not falsely humble. I believe it is still pride when we attempt to appear humble before others, when all the while we are craving that attention. There is no fooling God, and He is the Judge, and I believe He is opposed in these situations too, for it is still pride.
In order to be humble, I need to actively work to draw attention to others, in positive lights, and away from myself. I need to make sure that I do more listening, rather than talking, and am focusing on the needs and desires of others rather than my own. I need to seek to serve others like Jesus did, not be served. I praise God for my wife Bryane, because next to Jesus, she is the best example I have ever seen of what it means to be humble. She never seeks attention for herself, and is always doing whatever she can to build others up, and to serve.
Friday, 24 February 2012
Marriage
On Valentines day, my wife Brie and I went and saw the movie "The Vow". Although the movie was not the typical "everything is perfect in their relationship" story that you can often see in romantic movies, it did get me thinking about love. We can be very quick to say that the love we see in movies can only be seen in these scripts, but that is simply not true. We can experience this love ourselves. It takes a lot of effort, but if we are truly devoted to each other, why wouldn't we put forth that effort? Why wouldn't we want to have an incredibly exciting love story - the type God wants for us to have. The reason why we feel good watching these movies is because we get a glimpse of what God meant for marriage to be like - how He has designed for us to experience it. We want it, and the truth is that we can have it, if we are willing to work for it.
The book Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon) in the Bible also paints a picture of how God means for marriage to be experienced, and it is a love which all should desire. It is a love full of excitment and joy. It is a love where husbands and wives are completely devoted to one another, where they take seriously the promises made in their vows on their wedding day, where they lay down their lives for each other - never looking for ways to please ourselves, but rather seeking to serve each other in any ways possible. This is the type of love which we see in movies like "The Vow" and books like Song of Songs. Once again, the reason why we find them so exciting and inspiring, is because deep down we have a longing to experience this love ourselves, and the longing comes from the God who created us. He designed us to be most fullfilled in our love lives when we experience it the way He designed for us to. We will only ever find the greatest degree of fullfillment when we love in the ways which He calls us to love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 further spells out what love is:
The book Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon) in the Bible also paints a picture of how God means for marriage to be experienced, and it is a love which all should desire. It is a love full of excitment and joy. It is a love where husbands and wives are completely devoted to one another, where they take seriously the promises made in their vows on their wedding day, where they lay down their lives for each other - never looking for ways to please ourselves, but rather seeking to serve each other in any ways possible. This is the type of love which we see in movies like "The Vow" and books like Song of Songs. Once again, the reason why we find them so exciting and inspiring, is because deep down we have a longing to experience this love ourselves, and the longing comes from the God who created us. He designed us to be most fullfilled in our love lives when we experience it the way He designed for us to. We will only ever find the greatest degree of fullfillment when we love in the ways which He calls us to love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 further spells out what love is:
" 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."
And Ephesians 5:25-30 provides further insight into God's guidance and expectations:
" 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body."
Husbands have a tremendous responsibility. We are called to sacrifice our lives for our wives, and do to so willingly, even to the point of death. This is a non-stop, no resting commitment. We are called to be laying down our lives for our wives. Does this require hard work and dedication? Absolutely it does, but the benefits that come from doing so last a lifetime. The sad thing is that too often we choose not to put forth the effort that is required and as a result we miss out tremendously. I'm definitely guilty of this, but because I love God, because I love my wife and because I want both Brie and I to experience the greatest love imaginable for our entire lives, it is my goal to sacrifice myself for her. It is my goal to continually hold myself accountable to love her and devote myself to her in these ways. And this should not sound like, "I'll do it because I have to". The reason why I'll do it is because I love her, I want what's best for her, and I'm excited to experience love with her the way that God designed for us to experience it. I married her due to this love and excitement, and I intend to spend my life pursuing this love, not wasting my life and missing out. It's a privilege to be her husband and I never want to take her, and the love she has for me, for granted. I want her to fall more in love with me every day, just like I fall more in love with her every day, but I can't expect that to happen if I am not pursuing her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of my life.
I never want to get sucked into the false belief that this type of love is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is that we can all experience this type of love, and it comes from being sold out to the guidelines that God has so graciously laid out for us in His Word.
Something which hurts so many marriages nowadays is the media and their warped views of what love is. What our world has bought into is the false misconception that lust is what true love looks like. Because of this too many men and women look at people other than their spouse, compare them to their spouse, and fantasize and lust after what they believe would make them happy. They believe that true love means constant lusting after their spouse and that if this isn't happening, then they must not be in love anymore. This leads to adultery and divorce. When you examine these trends it is clear how misguided we really are. True love is described in the verses above. It is where we make a commitment to love our spouse no matter what "until death do us part". It is where we recognize the fact that love is not lust, that love is just as much a decision as it is a feeling. And the truth that we often fail to realize is that the exciting feelings that come with love are not as a result of lust, and they cannot be forced. Rather, they are as a result of choosing to be committed to your spouse and choosing to love them no matter what life throws at you. When you are truly committed to your spouse in this way, this is what brings excitement, this is what brings the butterflies in your stomach, this is what brings joy and fullfillment in love and marriage. Yes, when you started dating your spouse you had those feelings of excitement that came from a new and exciting relationship, and no, those feelings won't be there every single day for the rest of your life. They will still be there, just not at every moment like you might want them to be. That was "new" love. As you live fully committed to your spouse, that love changes into "old" love. When new love becomes old love, that is the best type of love, because it is based off of commitment to God and each other. It is based off of a committment to love no matter what for the rest of your life. It is based off of true love, not lust. As the Bible says, "Love never fails" (1 Corintians 13:8), but our society proves that lust always fails because lust is not love, and certainly not a foundation to build any relationship on.
Due to the fact that our world is so geared toward lust, we need to always ensure that we are keeping our guard up. Too often I've heard men, as well as women, make comments such as, "You can look at the menu, as long as you don't eat from it". This is lust. This is in no way keeping the commitment you made to your spouse on your wedding day. And this is in no way beneficial to your marriage because you are adding thoughts to your marriage of people other than your spouse. When you add such lustful thoughts you will never be able to respond to your spouse sexually, or in any other form of love, in a way that is healthy. Instead you will always feel like you are spinning your wheels in your marriage and wondering why your marriage is not growing and becoming what you've hoped and dreamed it would be. If we truly want to have the marriage that we've always dreamed of, if we truly meant the promises we made in our vows on our wedding day, then we will guard our hearts and minds and in doing so turn and run from any thoughts or feelings about anyone other than our spouse. Will this be hard, yes, because Satan will always try and tempt you, but God says in the book of James that, "God will never allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear", and he also tells us that if we, "Resist the devil, he will flee from you" and that if we instead draw near to God, "He will draw near to us". Therefore, yes this will be hard work, but God is with us and He wants what's best for us. And if we want what is best for us and our spouse, then we will make the effort to love our spouse as God has designed for us to, and when we do so, we have a whole lot of excitement to look forward to. True excitement!
Thank you God for the model you've provided in your Word which allows us to have that love which many believe "can only be seen in movies".
And Ephesians 5:25-30 provides further insight into God's guidance and expectations:
" 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body."
Husbands have a tremendous responsibility. We are called to sacrifice our lives for our wives, and do to so willingly, even to the point of death. This is a non-stop, no resting commitment. We are called to be laying down our lives for our wives. Does this require hard work and dedication? Absolutely it does, but the benefits that come from doing so last a lifetime. The sad thing is that too often we choose not to put forth the effort that is required and as a result we miss out tremendously. I'm definitely guilty of this, but because I love God, because I love my wife and because I want both Brie and I to experience the greatest love imaginable for our entire lives, it is my goal to sacrifice myself for her. It is my goal to continually hold myself accountable to love her and devote myself to her in these ways. And this should not sound like, "I'll do it because I have to". The reason why I'll do it is because I love her, I want what's best for her, and I'm excited to experience love with her the way that God designed for us to experience it. I married her due to this love and excitement, and I intend to spend my life pursuing this love, not wasting my life and missing out. It's a privilege to be her husband and I never want to take her, and the love she has for me, for granted. I want her to fall more in love with me every day, just like I fall more in love with her every day, but I can't expect that to happen if I am not pursuing her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of my life.
I never want to get sucked into the false belief that this type of love is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is that we can all experience this type of love, and it comes from being sold out to the guidelines that God has so graciously laid out for us in His Word.
Something which hurts so many marriages nowadays is the media and their warped views of what love is. What our world has bought into is the false misconception that lust is what true love looks like. Because of this too many men and women look at people other than their spouse, compare them to their spouse, and fantasize and lust after what they believe would make them happy. They believe that true love means constant lusting after their spouse and that if this isn't happening, then they must not be in love anymore. This leads to adultery and divorce. When you examine these trends it is clear how misguided we really are. True love is described in the verses above. It is where we make a commitment to love our spouse no matter what "until death do us part". It is where we recognize the fact that love is not lust, that love is just as much a decision as it is a feeling. And the truth that we often fail to realize is that the exciting feelings that come with love are not as a result of lust, and they cannot be forced. Rather, they are as a result of choosing to be committed to your spouse and choosing to love them no matter what life throws at you. When you are truly committed to your spouse in this way, this is what brings excitement, this is what brings the butterflies in your stomach, this is what brings joy and fullfillment in love and marriage. Yes, when you started dating your spouse you had those feelings of excitement that came from a new and exciting relationship, and no, those feelings won't be there every single day for the rest of your life. They will still be there, just not at every moment like you might want them to be. That was "new" love. As you live fully committed to your spouse, that love changes into "old" love. When new love becomes old love, that is the best type of love, because it is based off of commitment to God and each other. It is based off of a committment to love no matter what for the rest of your life. It is based off of true love, not lust. As the Bible says, "Love never fails" (1 Corintians 13:8), but our society proves that lust always fails because lust is not love, and certainly not a foundation to build any relationship on.
Due to the fact that our world is so geared toward lust, we need to always ensure that we are keeping our guard up. Too often I've heard men, as well as women, make comments such as, "You can look at the menu, as long as you don't eat from it". This is lust. This is in no way keeping the commitment you made to your spouse on your wedding day. And this is in no way beneficial to your marriage because you are adding thoughts to your marriage of people other than your spouse. When you add such lustful thoughts you will never be able to respond to your spouse sexually, or in any other form of love, in a way that is healthy. Instead you will always feel like you are spinning your wheels in your marriage and wondering why your marriage is not growing and becoming what you've hoped and dreamed it would be. If we truly want to have the marriage that we've always dreamed of, if we truly meant the promises we made in our vows on our wedding day, then we will guard our hearts and minds and in doing so turn and run from any thoughts or feelings about anyone other than our spouse. Will this be hard, yes, because Satan will always try and tempt you, but God says in the book of James that, "God will never allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear", and he also tells us that if we, "Resist the devil, he will flee from you" and that if we instead draw near to God, "He will draw near to us". Therefore, yes this will be hard work, but God is with us and He wants what's best for us. And if we want what is best for us and our spouse, then we will make the effort to love our spouse as God has designed for us to, and when we do so, we have a whole lot of excitement to look forward to. True excitement!
Thank you God for the model you've provided in your Word which allows us to have that love which many believe "can only be seen in movies".
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