It is very important that Brie and I parent like God "parents" us. He does so with grace.
God does not lay guilt trips. He does not set up legalistic rules and get extremely angry when we break rules. He knows that we are going to make lots of mistakes. Instead of always telling us how disappointed we are making Him, He comes along side us with an attitude similar to, "I know that you are sinful, that you make mistakes and that you struggle with the things that you do. I am here for you to help you get through this and to help you improve in these areas because in love you and I want what is best for you. I will be patient with you because I love you.". Brie and I must adopt these same attitudes.
When we parent with grace similar to the grace that God has for us, it helps to instil in our children a loving attitude for God and for others. Faith is not something that you can force on hour children. It is something that they "catch" as a result of having it displayed to them by their parents.
It is important to realize that parenting in a fraxe- based way does not mean that there are never consequences, for of course thee are. However, part of those consequences should not be yelling and screaming and telling our children how much they have made is sad and disappointed us. We must display grace and love at all times.
Friday 21 March 2014
Tuesday 18 March 2014
Guardrails to protect your marriage
1. Don't travel with members of the opposite sex
2. Don't have meals alone with members of the opposite sex
3. Don't try and fix people of the opposite sex. If they need help, get them help, but it is not wise for you yourself to provide that help.
4. If you feel like you are being tempted or drawn toward someone, FLEE! And also go and tell someone to keep you accountable. In would go as far as to say it isnwise to flee and tell someone if you even feel like you are starting to enjoy the company of someone from the opposite sex more than what is normal (I.e. more than the common family friend).
5. Don't confide, or allow yourself to be confided in, by members of the opposite sex.
6. If you ever get into a situation where you feel like you are trapped in one of these situations, first do everything you can to get out of it, and second make sure you make a phone call to tell your spouse and do this immediately.
7. Ask yourself in every dealing with the opposite sex, "Would I feel comfortable revealing everything about this situation to my spouse?". The answer needs to ALWAYS be yes. If the answer is getting even close to no, then you must RUN from that situation.
8. Don't be alone anywhere with anyone of the opposite sex.
9. Don't talk about personal or sensitive issues with members of the opposite sex.
10. Don't joke too much with mvers of the opposite sex. Sticking to one joke a meeting is probably a good principle to follow.
11. Know yourself and set up any other guardrails that you feel are important for you to follow.
These will seem extreme to society, but they are not. They are wise. After all, these are the things that we all want our spouse and children to follow, so of course we should do these things ourselves.
It is important to realize that our society baits us to get involved with sexual immorality. Just look at media in our culture. They bait us and then scold if people actually succumb. Therefore, it is extremely important to set up guardrails which are VERY FAR from the line of what is inappropriate. This makes sure that you never get tons point that you shouldn't be in. It also ensures that if you bump onto one of your guardrails, your conscience feels terrible. It feels as if you have done something very sinful. This is a good thing if you have set your guardrails up properly. A proper guardrail is in a place that is not sinful, but again, since it is a meaningful guardrail to protect yourself and those you love, you should feel terrible.
I love Brie so incredibly much. And because of this I don't care if people think I am crazy or extreme in following these guardrails. They are not extreme, they are wise, and lead to a happier, more blessed marriage. Why wouldn't I keep these? It would be stupid not to.
In general, when it comes to decisions and guardrails, it is important to always make wise decisions right from the start. Once you give in to temptation once, it makes it easier to give in again, while at the same time it makes it more difficult to go back and stop resisting temptation. Set your boundaries and always stick into them right from the start.
2. Don't have meals alone with members of the opposite sex
3. Don't try and fix people of the opposite sex. If they need help, get them help, but it is not wise for you yourself to provide that help.
4. If you feel like you are being tempted or drawn toward someone, FLEE! And also go and tell someone to keep you accountable. In would go as far as to say it isnwise to flee and tell someone if you even feel like you are starting to enjoy the company of someone from the opposite sex more than what is normal (I.e. more than the common family friend).
5. Don't confide, or allow yourself to be confided in, by members of the opposite sex.
6. If you ever get into a situation where you feel like you are trapped in one of these situations, first do everything you can to get out of it, and second make sure you make a phone call to tell your spouse and do this immediately.
7. Ask yourself in every dealing with the opposite sex, "Would I feel comfortable revealing everything about this situation to my spouse?". The answer needs to ALWAYS be yes. If the answer is getting even close to no, then you must RUN from that situation.
8. Don't be alone anywhere with anyone of the opposite sex.
9. Don't talk about personal or sensitive issues with members of the opposite sex.
10. Don't joke too much with mvers of the opposite sex. Sticking to one joke a meeting is probably a good principle to follow.
11. Know yourself and set up any other guardrails that you feel are important for you to follow.
These will seem extreme to society, but they are not. They are wise. After all, these are the things that we all want our spouse and children to follow, so of course we should do these things ourselves.
It is important to realize that our society baits us to get involved with sexual immorality. Just look at media in our culture. They bait us and then scold if people actually succumb. Therefore, it is extremely important to set up guardrails which are VERY FAR from the line of what is inappropriate. This makes sure that you never get tons point that you shouldn't be in. It also ensures that if you bump onto one of your guardrails, your conscience feels terrible. It feels as if you have done something very sinful. This is a good thing if you have set your guardrails up properly. A proper guardrail is in a place that is not sinful, but again, since it is a meaningful guardrail to protect yourself and those you love, you should feel terrible.
I love Brie so incredibly much. And because of this I don't care if people think I am crazy or extreme in following these guardrails. They are not extreme, they are wise, and lead to a happier, more blessed marriage. Why wouldn't I keep these? It would be stupid not to.
In general, when it comes to decisions and guardrails, it is important to always make wise decisions right from the start. Once you give in to temptation once, it makes it easier to give in again, while at the same time it makes it more difficult to go back and stop resisting temptation. Set your boundaries and always stick into them right from the start.
Thursday 6 March 2014
God's game plan for your life
In order to properly seek God for what His will is for my life, I need to look at the talents and abilities that He has give me. These talents and abilities are clues for what His plans are for my life. He has blessed me with certain talents and abilities so that I will develop them and use them to bless Him, others, and to further His Kingdom. This is displayed through Jesus' parable of the talents. I do not want to stand before God someday and have to answer for why I did not make the most of the talents and abilities He blessed me with. Therefore, I must always make sure that I am leaning into and developing the talents that God has blessed me with.
God does not look at us the way the world, or even we, look at ourselves. "God looks at the heart, not outward appearance.". Therefore, it is important to realize that God can use us in any way He sees fit. It doesn't matter what we think we may or may not be good at. If God wants to accomplish something through us then He will - as long as we are surrenders. The surrender is the "heart" part. God looks at our heart, and He can use us as long as we are surrendered. For this reason, we must always be examining our heart to ensure that we are surrendered.
God does not look at us the way the world, or even we, look at ourselves. "God looks at the heart, not outward appearance.". Therefore, it is important to realize that God can use us in any way He sees fit. It doesn't matter what we think we may or may not be good at. If God wants to accomplish something through us then He will - as long as we are surrenders. The surrender is the "heart" part. God looks at our heart, and He can use us as long as we are surrendered. For this reason, we must always be examining our heart to ensure that we are surrendered.
Tuesday 4 March 2014
Making Righteous Decisions
There are some questions you should ask when making decisions.
1. Am I really being completely honest with myself?
Don't talk yourself into things that you want to do, or talk yourself out of things, when it is unwise to do so. We often self talk yourself into and out of things that are unwise just because we think we want it. We talk ourselves toward the things that we think we want. It is so important to be honest with ourselves. Need to find the real reasons why we want to make certain decisions. But if you want to make wise decisions, you need to be very honest with yourself and why you are so inclined to make certain decisions. Being honest with yourself will help you mkenwise decisions.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure". This means that we will always attempt to deceive ourselves into making the decisions that we want to make. Therefore, it is so important to honestly answer whether or not I am being honest with myself.
2. Pay attention to the tension.
When you are not sure whether or not something is right, when there is tension in your conscience, it is really important to pay attention to that. You need to allow that tension to grow as big as it is going to grow before I make a decision.
3. What decision will bring the greatest pleasure and glory to God.
Every decision, every thing that I ever do, I must be finding a way to bring glory to God through it. Everyone lives for someone's glory, and usually it is for our own, but the truth is that my glory is just too small to live for. And I was not created for my own glory, I was created for the glory of God. We are never fulfilled by living for our own glory. Any time I have ever tried to do this I have just ended up frustrated and feeling like an up humble jerk. But when I am living for the glory of God and drawing all attention to Him, I always feel better about myself. I feel fulfilled and joyful. Not only is this proof of God, but it also proves that I exist to glorify God, not myself.
1. Am I really being completely honest with myself?
Don't talk yourself into things that you want to do, or talk yourself out of things, when it is unwise to do so. We often self talk yourself into and out of things that are unwise just because we think we want it. We talk ourselves toward the things that we think we want. It is so important to be honest with ourselves. Need to find the real reasons why we want to make certain decisions. But if you want to make wise decisions, you need to be very honest with yourself and why you are so inclined to make certain decisions. Being honest with yourself will help you mkenwise decisions.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure". This means that we will always attempt to deceive ourselves into making the decisions that we want to make. Therefore, it is so important to honestly answer whether or not I am being honest with myself.
2. Pay attention to the tension.
When you are not sure whether or not something is right, when there is tension in your conscience, it is really important to pay attention to that. You need to allow that tension to grow as big as it is going to grow before I make a decision.
3. What decision will bring the greatest pleasure and glory to God.
Every decision, every thing that I ever do, I must be finding a way to bring glory to God through it. Everyone lives for someone's glory, and usually it is for our own, but the truth is that my glory is just too small to live for. And I was not created for my own glory, I was created for the glory of God. We are never fulfilled by living for our own glory. Any time I have ever tried to do this I have just ended up frustrated and feeling like an up humble jerk. But when I am living for the glory of God and drawing all attention to Him, I always feel better about myself. I feel fulfilled and joyful. Not only is this proof of God, but it also proves that I exist to glorify God, not myself.
Humbly accepting praise but shifting glory to God
God did not create us to do great things and then hold onto the glory. He created us to do great things by His grace and power. We are to graciously accept praise that comes from our accomplishments but we are then to try and find an appropriate way to say something along the lines of, "Thank you, but I must be honest. If it wasn't for God's grace, leading and strength in my life, I would never have been able to accomplish this." We always need to shift the glory away from us and give it all to God. I am not on earth for my glory, I am here to glorify God. That is why I was created. After all, anytime I even attempt to hold glory for myself, I never feel good about myself, and the "glory" fades and does not last. None of this is the case when giving God all the glory.
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