I just finished watching a video by a man who just recently died from cancer. He was a Christian man and left this video as a message to his less than 1 year old daughter so that she could see how much he loved her, but most importantly how much he loved Christ Jesus. God has been teaching me a lot lately, and this video added to it. It really spoke to me and convicted me. The video allowed me to see a man who was living his life as if every moment was his last. He was making the most if every opportunity to love his family and to love Christ because his days were short. I am ashamed of myself because I know that I should be living this way but I have not. God has called me to live this way, and I have not put the effort in. In every moment that I live, I should be loving my wife, daughter and unborn child in the way that I would if that moment was my last here on earth. Instead, I am a selfish individual who is always thinking about himself. I am always thinking about what I want to do, what I want to accomplish, what I feel like, rather than how I can best serve my family, love them, and make the most of every opportunity with them. I am not guaranteed tomorrow, yet I live as if it's a certainty. I must realize that I may not be around tomorrow, and when I really stop and think of this I am ashamed of myself. I am ashamed because I have not served my family in a way which I am proud of. I would have many regrets if I died today. I would regret all the times that I have worked out rather than play with Aivry. I would regret all the times that I sat and watched a game rather than doing something with her and Brie. I would regret the fact that I have so often allowed myself to be distracted rather than being the man that God has called me to be, stepping up, serving them and making the most of every opportunity to love them as Christ loves me - which is the way that Christ calls me to love them. Even little things like changing a diaper, or getting Aivry dressed, or making a meal - I have been so lazy and allowed Brie to do so much of these things. I know she loves doing them, but by allowing her to do it all the time, I have missed out on so many opportunities to enjoy meaningful moments with them. I have missed out on opportunities to show them love.
This has got to stop. And now. I must allow God to change me "by the renewing of my mind". I need to stop thinking about me, and thinking about them. It's crazy, because I know when I start doing this I will be incredibly blessed and feel so much more fulfilled in life. Proof of this was when Brie was on bed rest recently. I was in a position where I had to serve my family and do things which I so often allowed Brie to do. I was so blessed by serving my family. I felt so fulfilled taking care of them rather than being lazy. I know that this will be the case as I stop allowing myself to be distracted, and rather start making the most of every opportunity to love and serve God and my family - making the most of every opportunity as if it were my last.
I believe that this is what it means to "live in light of eternity". I need to live every day as if I knew I was dying tomorrow. This way, when God does call me home, I can have as few regrets as possible, for I know that I am leaving behind a legacy of positive memories for my family. This is also the way that Brie and I can best model for Aivry how to live for Christ and realize the constant blessings involved in doing so.
In every situation that I am in, I must approach it in the way that I would if I were to die tomorrow. This way I am approaching things in a way which will better please Jesus, but at the same time, in a way that will best bless the family he has entrusted to me.
And this means everything....time with God, family, work, hobbies, friends, etc.. I must do it with an attitude of how would God have me do this if I were to die tomorrow?
I am excited to do this, for I can only imagine how incredibly blessed I will be, as well as my family, as a result of changing my attitude so as to make the most of every opportunity. I am confident in these blessings because I believe that this is how God calls us to live. I am saddened to think of that which I have missed out on as a result of not living this way sooner, but am excited for what I will experience, by the grace of God, as a result of living every moment as if it's my last. My life can only be more blessed. God calls us to live in light of eternity, and He will never lead us astray.
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